I know, it doesn’t seem to make sense at first glance. But there was a time that I had to learn to be a coward. I’m not ashamed to write about it. And believe me, there are times that many of us need to learn how to be a coward. Sometimes doing so can save a marriage, a career, or maybe even a life.
Life takes us through many twists and turns. During our journey, we sometimes put value on the wrong things. We allow others to determine what road or action we need to take and sometimes, because of bravado, that decision can backfire.
Years ago, when I was in college, I met a young man named Joe. Joe was a quadriplegic – having been paralyzed from the neck down because of a fall he had taken. Joe was a very likable person and we hit it off right away. He didn’t talk much about his circumstance. He never pitied himself nor sought pity from anyone.
One day I was working with Joe on a term paper and a few friends came by looking for me. It seems they wanted me to come along with them to retrieve some property that had been stolen from one of them over the weekend. They were sure they knew who had committed the theft and wanted to go over to his dorm room, “beat him down,” as they put it, and retrieve what was rightfully theirs. I hemmed and hawed a few minutes. The urged me on, and even dared me to come along. Since I didn’t want to come across as weak so I agreed to go along with them. I told them that I would meet them in about ten minutes at the student center.
After they left, Joe looked at me and said, “You know, I’d love to be able to get out of this wheelchair and walk over to the Student Union with you. But, I’m like this because of the very same thing that you are getting ready to do.” It seems that Joe was injured because he listened to a dare and dove off of a cliff into lake. Unfortunately the spot in the lake where he took his dive, wasn’t very deep. “You see,” he explained, “I really didn’t want to be the one not to take the dare. And so, I went first. And now, I spend my days in this chair, and my friends, well, I haven’t seen them since the accident.”
Sometimes It’s Best to Walk Away
His words altered my decision and I never showed at the student center. On that day, Joe convinced that it was best to stay back and not worry what my friends would think about me.
Sometimes in life we have to learn how to be a coward. If there is bravery within us, it will come out spontaneously at the appropriate time and in the appropriate situations. But unless we have to face a situation like that, we need to make sure that we are living our lives wisely and not confusing stupidity with bravery.
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